The Loser: a single wilting rose

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The feeling of a loser in love is the worst feeling you can ever get….. It can hurt you soo deep….deeper then any wound and enough to kill you totally inside. So is it the fault of your expectations?….No… of course not… actually it’s the fault of human nature. Sometimes You go through a breakup with someone with whom you thought he or she was “the one” for you.

“I feel like such a loser. The loser who even do not get something for what he was waiting for a long long period of time. I was sitting there watching how much my friends have, how much happier they are to have a perfect one. It makes me feel like I just don’t have my life together. Like there is something wrong with me, I feel like a dumb. I know others also have problems too, but it just hits me like I am less than.”

I said to myself, “We all can feel like losers sometimes. In fact, it is good to have a hit of that as much as you can. I think it throws our ego for a loop.”

This love loser feeling allows us to feel connected to our humanness. It turns on self-love.
It allows us to put away our mask for just a bit and give ourselves permission to let our heart show. You overcome from the urge to impress anyone.

The “I’ve got it all together” thing that we all want to show up like feeds our ego.

It makes us be someone we think others want to see and protect ourselves from judgment.

We have all felt judged by our parents, friends, and society. When we feel it, we translate that judgment as pain.

That pain triggers the brain and the brain says, ‘let’s close the doors to our heart so we don’t feel that anymore’. We start living alone, losing interest in almost everything, no more hobbies. We start feeling rejected by the whole world. Parent’s and friend’s care feel like teas. Everyone seems like evil and the world looks black and white. The hardest person becomes softest, the one who never cry, starts crying, all positivity turns into negativity.

You see, trying to have it all together just triggers a whole series of thoughts that make us feel like we are all alone in the world. Even if you are in a relationship.

But those love loser moments allow us to be free of protection. It is actually such a beautifully free place.

The people I admire the most, the ones that have moved me the most, the books and movies I have read and watched that have affected me the most – were the ones that were raw, real and showed the dynamic of who we are as humans.

It is how we can ALL feel at times. You are NOT alone.

I am afraid to remain alone. I’m scared because I think I’m not enough. I guess I’m just a loser in love. I have got no time for wasting, I wanna tell you how I feel, but this world’s too complicated so my lips stay fucking sealed. I am never good at conversation so my anxiety, it kills. So I’m sitting here contemplating, should I down some fucking pills? All these people are so fake and never leave the house again.

I always try to believe that there is a happy ending for everyone. But sometimes life kicks you in the stomach or someone who has been let down says things like “Be realistic, there are no fairytales, stop dreaming, this and that.” Life.

But no one is too old for fairy tales. Start telling fairy tales to yourself, create your own one.

Falling in love is the first half of the story and fighting with loosing is the second half and the second half decides whether you are a winner or a loser. So don’t stick to one situation, move on. Nothing’s going to change until you move on.

Although you lost hope and commitments but respect, dignity, and value still remains.

In the end, everything I wrote seems so little
It’s just hurt. A lot…..

” The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, heard, or even touched, they must felt with the heart”

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

“Always remember that you were once alone, and the crowd you see in your life today are just as unnecessary as when you were alone.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”
Mandy Hale

 

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